Just needing to start & post something. I keep writing something and i’s never good enough. Done with that and this will be posted TODAY.
Welcome to my dumping outlet. Life is life right now, and I am struggling. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I said I wanted to grow up. If I were able to talk to my younger self I would tell them to “shhhh & enjoy it while you’re not paying for it” Isn’t that what our parents used to say? I guess I never believed them & had to live it to believe it. FML.
This year I am turning 30 years old (in 63 days to be exact). My younger self would be laughing at me right now. Was I ever ignorant. Thinking adults had their life together by the age of 30. Which is way out of touch considering when you look at the big picture: Ages 0-12 You are a child seeing the world for the first time. Ages 13-17 You’re going through it mentally & physically with your whole body. Then BAM right before your eyes you turn 18 years old and you are now an adult & can vote. Jokes on you though, welcome to what the adults were warning you about, hell. Your 20’s are really when you start living your life.
Looking back and thinking about it – I was doing my best with what I was given. Given I was looking at my family around me, who were born & raised in years 1950-1990 and that was a totally different time than right now, Take me back to the 90’s please and thank you. I was made to be a 90’s Mom. Not happening, here I am raising my son in 2020’s &2030’s. EW. I am sitting here typing this and I am still shocked at where the world has gone in the last 10-15 years. Craziness to say the less. I really do hope I am able to own a home at one point in my life (million dollar homes just aren’t in my budget).
I am okay & it is okay. I am not where I thought I would be at the age of 30 & that is okay. Considering I never really thought about life after the age of 30 – everything is going to be okay. I am just getting started. The next 10 years are going to be my years. If not, maybe my 40s – I am just joking, hopefully.
My mind is going a mile a minute right now & I am starting to think of other stuff that has nothing to do with what I wrote above so I am going to cut it here. Thank you for coming on by & reading this post. Hopefully you enjoyed it & maybe I will “see” you again. Maybe I wasn’t your cup of tea & that’s okay too.
P.S. I really really really hope no one I know finds this and read it. YES. I understand I am posting online so anyone is able to find this. I am just hoping no one does right now….I am too awkward for that to happen right now.
P.S.S If you can’t tell already that I got a little bit of the tism’ then you’re in for a TREAT. If you did realize Welcome & Hope You Enjoy Your Reading.
Notes:
- hi & welcome to the sh*t show – I don’t think I should swear on this as I have been really good at not swearing online. Other than that tome in middle school when I was getting bullied – Anyways we’re not here to trauma dump….just let
- Every day is different – just trying to survive
- Ending?? “Thank you for coming & reading. Hopefully, tomorrow is another amazing day. Until next time…”
- % year & 10 year plans – HAHAHAHAHA
- Needing to work on my editing skills – like where are the those skills?
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